SOLC 4: Putting Humpty Back Together again...

I have begun to think of my son's recovery from his traumatic brain injury in terms of putting Humpty back together again. There are just too many similarities to the old familiar rhyme to not make that connection. I also feel that in order to survive all that we have been through, you MUST, keep your sense of humor or you will not survive! When he woke up from the coma he could not talk, he could not eat, he could not walk, nor could he remember how to write or read. So we began the long, painful task of putting him back together again. Some pieces of putting "Humpty" together again fell back in place rather quickly! Within hours of waking from the coma he went from not speaking, to one word utterances. It was so amazing to see how quickly some pieces of him went back together. Other pieces did not go back together so quickly so he left the trauma center to begin the long process of putting those other pieces back together at a rehabilitative center. We arrived at the center, where they evaluated him, told us what therapies he would need and what we would expect. Little did they know about my Humpty, he was going to SHOW THEM! Within hours of arriving he decided, he wanted to go HOME! He told his therapists, he wanted OUT of his wheelchair, that he wanted to walk at his HS graduation and that he WOULD be present at graduation. Graduation was a little over a week away! They did NOT crush him and told him no, they said, ok, let's go! He and his therapists worked hard, if therapy was supposed to be an hour, he put in two or more hours. He was amazing, but so were they! They were right with him every step of the way! One day before graduation and they called a team meeting and told us that Humpty had DONE IT! He was going home. He would still need to be a patient at the center, he would continue with outside therapy, but he would be at graduation. HUMPTY was almost back together. Now 22 months later we have had set backs and many more hurdles and we are still putting Humpty together, but Humpty is working hard and I have never been more proud!

On april 28^th there is a 5k race to benefit the Rehabilitation center that began the process of putting my Humpty back together! My son and I are running that race together! I don't think there is a better way to thank that amazing team of doctors and therapists for helping us put my Humpty back together again! This week my son did 2 miles on the treadmill, to others that may be just ordinary, but to me it is extraordindary! It is amazing to me how the little things in life are just so much more beautiful to me now that my Humpty is beginning to have all his pieces come back together! LIFE IS GOOD!
PS: First picture at the top is my son right after getting his diploma, the second is the standing ovation his class gave him!

Hugs,

SOLC 3

Truth be told, my husband is smarter than me! He loves when I say that! I don't mean this sarcastically, I mean it truly, he is smarter than me in the common sense, see the full picture, thinking with your head, not your heart sense. When we got married we had our first child, our son, 10.5 months after our wedding. Yes I guess you could say, a delayed honey-moon baby. We were young, starry-eyed and SHOCKED but, thrilled all at the same time. His arrival brought great joy to our lives and we quickly fell into the routine of domestic chaos! Diapers, work, laundry, sleepless nights and you guessed it, more chaos, sleepless nights and laundry, all the things that come with having a new baby! Three and half-years later we were thrilled to find out we were having our second child. Life was good! So imagine my shock when my husband told me that this child would be our last! Hmmm, what? I asked? Your kidding me? This was not in our plan? We were planning on having four children…you can't change the plan! He explained how he never really thought it all through, what it would be like as they got older, the bills, the homework etc, and besides, his final logical argument, car doors only come with two windows one for each child, eliminating arguments and when we go out, we each have a child. If we have more children we increase the possibility of losing one! WhaT? LOSING ONE? You think if we have more than two children we will loose one? He was dead serious! When I thought about what he was saying he was right(not about the car doors or losing children), but for many reasons and I trusted him, completely and the decision was made, we would only have two children…

Twenty-years later we are at dinner, just the two of us and the conversation turns to the night he announced he only wanted to have two children. He brought it up because friends of ours, who are our age almost, only slightly younger, had children much later in life

than us and are now having a third child…I chuckled and said, glad that is NOT us! He says, I guess she didn't marry the smart guy who knows all about the logistics of car doors. For some reason, this just made me laugh so hard, perhaps I give him too much credit, perhaps my husband is not so smart after all…logistics of car doors! He kills me sometimes…LOVE him, but sometimes men are from Mars!

Hugs,

SOLC 2

This week the Superintendant of my home school district made an announcement that really got me thinking. He announced that the Principal of the High School and the assistant Principal will be retiring in June. This announcement made me downright sad. Why was I sad? I was sad for many reasons. I was sad for self-ish reasons. My daughter only has one more year at this high school. I would have loved it if she finished her high school career with both this Principal and the assistant Principal. My son had them throughout his entire High School career and I feel he was very lucky to have had them guiding him through such important years in his life. It made me sad when I started to read the negative comments being made by the members of the community who did not appreciate these individuals for the contributions that they had made to our community and to the children of our school. I was actually quite shocked how negative people were. The comments that were made were all about how happy people were that these old "dinosaurs" were leaving and perhaps now people who were more knowledgeable and younger would do a better job in our high school. I was honestly so surprised. Perhaps I had been living under a rock. Perhaps I had been missing something all this time, but truthfully, our high school is one of the best around, run like a well-oiled ship, where no nonsense is tolerated, where children were first! I had always felt like my children were receiving an education that was very personal, very tailored to what they specifically needed and it was not a one size fits all attitude. I have loved their teachers, loved the schools approach to many things. Did I love everything? No, but I could support things because I always felt that the children were at the core of what they were doing. Let me give some examples:

1. My son was on the wrestling team, one of his team members lost his dad on the first day of practice their freshman year, he was now an orphan. It was horrible! This poor young boy was devastated, he had never wrestled before, but it was his dad's wish to see his son wrestle, so he had joined the team. He was going to be sent to live with his Grandparents who did not live in our district, which meant that this young boy would now have to leave our district. He did not have friends in the other district, nor did they have a wrestling team. So, some of us spoke to the coach to fill him in, the coach then in turn spoke to the HS principal, who spoke to the Superintendant. Everyone felt that this young boy had been through enough, that moving him would be even more traumatic for him. The district made the decision to allow him to continue to attend the district till graduation. The family members from the team helped get him to and from practice since he did not live in the district and transportation was not provided. The Principal that was considered a dinosaur, he was at all of the home matches. He checked on this young man all the time! He checked in with us, those of us who were driving him back and forth to see how we thought he was doing…yes, the man some are so quick to see go!
   
2. My son was involved in EVERYTHING in school. Every club, theater events, he played in the marching band and he was a three sport athlete. There was NOT one thing that I did not see these Principals at. This included away events, events that took place hours away from our school. They were there supporting the students, all students at these events. They would walk around talking to the kids, checking on them and yes, making sure everyone was behaving, dinosaurs, perhaps, you were expected to behave and if you didn't, yes, consequences were given! I applauded them! (One time my son, thinking he was funny said something to a very pretty, young sub, the sub did not find it funny and you bet, I got a phone call and my son spent some time with that dinosaur and he was in trouble!) Good for the dinosaur! You were expected to tow the line, he was fair, you knew what he wanted and in this school everyone was treated fairly and with kindness and respect!
   
3. The teachers that work under these "dinosaurs" are some of the hardest working individuals I know. They go above and beyond. They reach out to their student's on a regular basis. Like most educators, if you work in building where you feel valued, appreciated and supported, it is most certainly reflected in how teachers behave. This is not to say that most teachers do not do this, but I think that teachers that work under administrators that nurture their teachers, appreciate them and show support to them it certainly reflects in what you see in their staff!
   
4. The last and the reason closest to my heart for why I will miss these two individuals. When my son was injured 5 weeks before graduation, these two "dinosaurs" did all that they could for our family. They came to the hospital, they supported my son's friends, his sister, the school community etc. while we held our breath when he was in a coma. The Principal called everyday! When my son woke up and then went to the rehab facility to learn to walk, talk all over again, the principal asked about graduation and would it be possible for us to get our son there! He knew how important it was for my son. He made it possible for my son to be there. They put a ramp in so that my son could get up on the stage. His staff was amazing as well, as a matter of fact, almost 2 years later, they still are. Even though my son is no longer a student at the High School, his teachers continue to reach out and help him. My son is still recovering from his injuries. His former teachers have helped tutor him in math so that he could pass his first college course. This same teacher is again helping my son because she heard he is studying to take a State Fire Department Exam. I attribute this to the support and nurturing these teachers receive from the "dinosaurs".
   

   
    

   I do like to add that all these positive things that I have encountered while my children attended this school, none of it could be measured on a state exam! I do wish people realized that sometimes "dinosaurs" might not be bells and whistles, but they might be just what you need and be very, very careful what you wish for!
   

   
   I wish these individuals only the best in their retirement, they certainly deserve it, but I will miss them! They we will always have a special place in my heart & I thank them for their guidance, kindness and love for all students!
   

SOLC 1

I began with the Tuesday slice two years ago hoping I could challenge myself to write for one day a week. Then last year I joined the challenge hoping I could really get myself writing more. What I found in return was so much more than just the reward of writing everyday for a month. I found kind, passionate, thoughtful, intelligent & like-minded individuals from all over the country. I was amazed at everyone's willingness to support, read & leave a word on my writing! I found myself looking forward to reading other's slices and selfishly, I looked forward to the feedback on my slice as well. I found myself sad when I did take some time away from slicing and ultimately, I missed the professional stretching of my mind that went along with writing, slicing, reading & thinking each week! So, once again, I join the SOLC & I thank Ruth & Stacey for hosting this. I am most appreciative to them as well as I am to all the slicers out there who each week allow me a little glimpse into their lives so that I may grow as a writer, person, wife, mother, daughter, sister, teacher & friend. Thank you for this opportunity & Happy slicing everyone.

Pay It Forward

I recently ran a fundraiser in my school for a student who has cancer. The fundraiser was called Lolligrams. It involved purchasing a Valetine’s card with a lollipop. My class and two other classes would then deliver these Valentine’s to whoever you wished your Valentine to be delivered to. I’ve done this Lolligram fundraiser many times in the past. It is such a terrific way to get kids involved in doing something for someone else. The kids love sending the Valentine’s & they love delivering them to the classrooms. But, this time, for me, it was different! It hit me personally, in the past when I’ve done the fundraiser, I felt for the families, I wanted to be able to help, I wanted to do “something” b/c well, I just could not imagine what it was like to have your child sick, to sit by their bedside and wish & hope for them to get better! However, this time I knew. This time, I knew that raw pain, the gut wrenching, tear your gut out pain that goes with having your child lay in a hospital bed & you are absolutely helpless to do anything about it. This time I knew what will lay ahead for this family, what comes after you get your child home, how when you think life just may start to be normal again, & bam, your thrust into another medical crisis & the roller coaster ride of no sleep, laying in hospital chairs, waiting for answers awaits you. I know how you begin to operate on automatic pilot, how on the outside you look like you have it all together & yet on the inside you can’t keep your thoughts together, nothing makes sense, you seem to forget everything & it is hard sometimes to remember even what “normal” was. Soon those mounting medical bills come in, you begin to make the phone calls to the insurance company, to countless people they transfer you to, who say, I’m sorry, you will have to speak to so & so, they can help you, but then so & so says, “I’m so sorry, I can’t help you, I will transfer you!” & before you know it, you’ve been on the phone for 3 hrs, spoken to 3 people & gotten no where! It is for these reasons this fundraiser was so important to me, it was for these reasons that it was so emotional to me watching all the kids beaming faces making those deliveries on Valentine’s Day! We have had such tremendous, loving support while we have put the pieces back together after my son’s accident. Life is not the same, it is different, it is hard, some days, it is even a nightmare. However, I will NEVER forget the love, the kindness, the compassion that was shown to our family & is still shown to us as we are still on this journey back to recovery. It is my goal each & everyday to pay it forward. We are part of a club I don’t wish anyone to be a part of, however, I won’t let anyone travel that road alone, so I will do what it takes, Lolligrams, 5k runs, midnight dashes to the ER, whatever, just so someone knows, they are not alone, kindness travels, pay it forward! I promise to continue to reach out, it is what makes getting through the days better…

Hugs,

Valentine’S Day

Today is Valentine's Day. I'm excited. I'm excited not for the flowers, not for the candy, not for the cards. Sure, I like cards, I LOVE flowers & I especially LOVE chocolate, but those are not the things that bring me the excitement. I'm excited because I teach Kindergarten & through their eyes, Valentine's Day will be like Christmas to them. They will open up each Valentine & exclaim with excitement over who sent it to them, & will rejoice in the fact that this Valentine came with a tattoo or a sticker! Through the eyes of a five year old commercialism has not begun to touch their world. They are not aware of anything else. They are so caught up in the pure joy & excitement of opening each & every single card. The excitement of being able to read the names of their classmates, when just a few short weeks before they may not have been able to read them! Today was Valentine's Day, I hope everyone had as much fun as I did! I sure did. Happy Valentine's Day!
Hugs,

See Something, Say Something

Recently while reading a facebook post on a page that is dedicated to parents in my home school district, I read something that just completely horrified. It horrified me on so many levels! The post was about a young student, a middle school student that had tried committing suicide during school hours. The post was by one parent & the horror she felt over this incident. This parent’s horror was not sympathy for this poor young soul, this horror was about things that made me stop & ask myself if I was not living on a foreign planet. When did we stop being compassionate? The replies that ensued only horrified me even more. The more I read, the more upset I got! I just could not believe what I was reading. Parents commenting on what they were so upset about. They blamed this poor child’s parents for what happened, a child they did not even know. How they felt the school district was responsible. That the teachers must be held responsible after all b/c this child would not have done this at the school if the school was not somehow at fault. The more I read, the angrier I got, the more I read, the more I felt like, am I crazy? I must be missing something? Why isn’t anyone as upset as I am? No one seems to be bothered by all this? No one is writing back to all these comments…I finally read the page to my husband who was, thankfully, as horrified as I was! Ok, reality, I was not living in another land, I was not crazy, he was as upset as I was! I then sat down to compose my answer. By the time I returned to the page, the commentary had turned from this poor unfortunate child’s suicide attempt to drug use & drinking in the schools. It has now resorted to referring to these children as “degenerates”! “What”??? By this point my blood was boiling & you guessed it, no one said a thing!! Back to writing a response! It took me a bit to write a response, a well thought out response that did not reflect my anger, but my sadness that as parents of children how careful we need to be in not resorting to judging other children & calling them names. While I understand a parent’s fear when you hear that drugs are appearing in your children’s schools, I understand the fear when you hear that a young child, a child who is the same age as your child is so depressed that he/she feels that they have no other options but to end their lives…but I must ask you to now walk in that child’s parents shoes, imagine what it must have felt like to get that phone call, to have to run to the hospital, to hear about what is happening in your precious child’s life! I wrote to these parents asking them to think about their own children, asking them how they would feel if it was their child who was struggling with depression or drug abuse & someone who does not even know them referred to them as a degenerates, how would it feel? Not so nice I bet now would it? We are our children’s role models, we are their first teacher’s, we lead by example. We should not judge these children, we do not know what their struggles are. While I understand the fear, I understand & respect that you do not like these children’s choices, you don’t have to! But, you do need to teach your child tolerance, love & respect! If we all did that, we would have so many kids feeling less stress, less depression & perhaps more children would feel that they had other options, they might not choose drugs, they might choose options to stay alive rather than choose suicide b/c they would know that they had people who loved & respected them! My response got lots of commentary, it is what I expected, but it was not the commentary I expected, I expected to get lots of negativity, but most people said, “Thank You!” It was a small thing, but you need to speak up, speak up even if you know what you have to say might not be popular….see something, say something! You just never know, you might be surprised like I was!
Hugs,